Any man who sees you (and isn't gay, a eunuch or dead) is going to be attracted to you because you're objectively beautiful. And that's a nice thing for you and for them.
BUT, finding you attractive and invading your private DMs are two very different things. Online spaces can be very scary for women because so many men feel entitled to ignore the boundaries that they feel don't apply to them.
The point is, a man should NEVER DM a woman without a clear and specifically offered invitation. That invitation is not, "her writing is sexy," "Man, she's HAWT," or, "She seems so friendly."
I am very fortunate that the majority of men in my DMs are very kind and some have become my friends. But it is definitely a nuanced conversation and I appreciate you being one of the good ones, Mark! ♥️♥️♥️
i adore you and your writing. i am also so very excited to see where you go from here with you breaking your rules. if i would disagree about anything in this post, it is that you are not a mirror, you are a flame, a spark (and funny as hell) and light always attract lots of insects, moths, and (hopefully) a calming presence.
Oh boy, I sure need to know a WHOLE LOT MORE about this one. You make me laugh, you keep me guessing, you make reading your stories so enjoyable. The hope that I get to meet you in person? I think it might be a reality and I am very, very here for it!!!
Gonna have you over with your Mama and John after you settle for a minute here. Already asked about your Vino preferences and culinary choices today at the Sheppard Christmas Open House! Red carpet waiting, ha, ahhahahahhaha!
Thank you for your honesty.I quit the dopamine fixes 4 years ago and learned to love myself. Now that I do, I don’t want to go back to dating. So there’s that 😆
Yes this! Once the hits quit hitting it’s time to look inward for that validation. Haha and I don’t blame you for taking a break, dating is exhausting!
I once knew that feeling, in my 20s. I was the boi, the one guys could talk to about video games and movies and action figures and metal bands, and I knew as much if not more than they did.
In more recent years, smoking a lot of weed and gaining 10kg will do wonders for getting people to stop giving you unwanted attention 😅
But... now I feel like I've been left on a cliffhanger! 😮
Hahah the gaining weight didn’t work for me, I’m gonna have to start smoking weed! I’ll post an update when I’m not busy with the cliffhanger this week 😏
Okay but “I only use (men) in moderation” literally took me out 😭 This is such a brutally honest dismantling of longing versus love. The two-way glass metaphor? Chef’s kiss. And that turn from quick hits to someone who actually calms the nervous system hits so hard because it’s earned, not romanticized. Real, funny, quietly devastating, and somehow deeply satisfying. Loved every line.✨
Dope mine! A mine? Mine mine mine! Dopa copa coma mine! What a rush it it. Vroom vroom in the room bring a broom not a groom. Moon the shine dopa mine, don’t be so mean dopamine, know what I mean? Dope is the order of symbolic borders of eyes crossed and tees dotted in fashion of the Candied editor.
Great work. Dopamine is the word. Everyone needs it. They get it somehow. Social media. Likes. Photos. Will it ever end? No. Attention is important. But with attention comes the otherside. Everyone gets blinded by beauty, words, and want. Thanks for the read.
Any man who sees you (and isn't gay, a eunuch or dead) is going to be attracted to you because you're objectively beautiful. And that's a nice thing for you and for them.
BUT, finding you attractive and invading your private DMs are two very different things. Online spaces can be very scary for women because so many men feel entitled to ignore the boundaries that they feel don't apply to them.
The point is, a man should NEVER DM a woman without a clear and specifically offered invitation. That invitation is not, "her writing is sexy," "Man, she's HAWT," or, "She seems so friendly."
I miss the days of actual courtesy.
I am very fortunate that the majority of men in my DMs are very kind and some have become my friends. But it is definitely a nuanced conversation and I appreciate you being one of the good ones, Mark! ♥️♥️♥️
I'm still standing on the "Don't DM without a specific and clear invitation." rule.
...and I'd never want to admit the "good one" part but mammy done teach me to be a polite one!
i adore you and your writing. i am also so very excited to see where you go from here with you breaking your rules. if i would disagree about anything in this post, it is that you are not a mirror, you are a flame, a spark (and funny as hell) and light always attract lots of insects, moths, and (hopefully) a calming presence.
I adore you CK! Thank you for this ♥️
Oh, if you go to Ruth’s Chris, i expect photos!
The honesty is so powerful in this one, Candy. Made me reflect on myself and past relationships with men.
In this pursuit for dopamine rush, both sides are complicit.
🙏🏻 adore you.
Oh boy, I sure need to know a WHOLE LOT MORE about this one. You make me laugh, you keep me guessing, you make reading your stories so enjoyable. The hope that I get to meet you in person? I think it might be a reality and I am very, very here for it!!!
Hi hi!! Yes I will definitely fill you in, in person hopefully ❤️ let me know when you are free next week!! 🙏🏻
Gonna have you over with your Mama and John after you settle for a minute here. Already asked about your Vino preferences and culinary choices today at the Sheppard Christmas Open House! Red carpet waiting, ha, ahhahahahhaha!
Yay!!!! Omg I’m so excited 🥂
Thank you for your honesty.I quit the dopamine fixes 4 years ago and learned to love myself. Now that I do, I don’t want to go back to dating. So there’s that 😆
Yes this! Once the hits quit hitting it’s time to look inward for that validation. Haha and I don’t blame you for taking a break, dating is exhausting!
🔥🔥🔥
🙏🏻
Great read. Sometimes, rule breakers are needed to the advantage of some people.
Thanks for reading my friend!
I think you are a magnet, a beautiful, funny magnet.
I’m a something magnet 😅😍😘
Babe! Rising Humor - we are both in the Top 100
I once knew that feeling, in my 20s. I was the boi, the one guys could talk to about video games and movies and action figures and metal bands, and I knew as much if not more than they did.
In more recent years, smoking a lot of weed and gaining 10kg will do wonders for getting people to stop giving you unwanted attention 😅
But... now I feel like I've been left on a cliffhanger! 😮
Hahah the gaining weight didn’t work for me, I’m gonna have to start smoking weed! I’ll post an update when I’m not busy with the cliffhanger this week 😏
Moving to Finland probably helped too 😅 people don't talk to strangers here unless you're near a bar.
Okay but “I only use (men) in moderation” literally took me out 😭 This is such a brutally honest dismantling of longing versus love. The two-way glass metaphor? Chef’s kiss. And that turn from quick hits to someone who actually calms the nervous system hits so hard because it’s earned, not romanticized. Real, funny, quietly devastating, and somehow deeply satisfying. Loved every line.✨
You’re the best! Miss you let’s have a proper catch up soon!!! Xoxo 💋
Whenever your done being a world traveler you know when and where and how to find me lmfao 🤣
I knock on your door.
Can’t wait 😂
Love the honest look at vulnerable human tendency in this one… and the lil hint of something a-brewing 🤗🤗🤗
😍
Dope mine! A mine? Mine mine mine! Dopa copa coma mine! What a rush it it. Vroom vroom in the room bring a broom not a groom. Moon the shine dopa mine, don’t be so mean dopamine, know what I mean? Dope is the order of symbolic borders of eyes crossed and tees dotted in fashion of the Candied editor.
Wowza!
Candy are you in L-O-V-E!?
I’m excited for you
Sometimes people break through and demand your full attention
Thank you my sweet friend ❤️ you always have my attention.
Such kind words ❤️
🙏🏻
Great work. Dopamine is the word. Everyone needs it. They get it somehow. Social media. Likes. Photos. Will it ever end? No. Attention is important. But with attention comes the otherside. Everyone gets blinded by beauty, words, and want. Thanks for the read.
💯