77 Comments
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Innerbeatz's avatar

OMG....I hope this was intended to be hilarious, because it IS!! There were a few lines where I laughed hard: ".... from Anthony Bourdain to porn. “Oh what? Weird." and "...a man’s XL T-shirt, or a tank top that one..." to name but a few.

With that said, it is certainly challenging out there and I can relate. Keep ya head up girl, you are a gem!!

(now I have to read your other posts :)

Candy Downs's avatar

Yess! I’m so happy that you got that it was meant to be funny 🙏🏻 some people were upset lol. Thanks so much for reading :) happy to have you here!

Tamara Cnossen's avatar

Candy this is so funny! And so real life! 🫶🏻

Candy Downs's avatar

Phew! Some people didn’t get that it was meant to be funny 😅😂

Kmacdawg's avatar

I’m discouraged like never before. I lost my job just over a year ago, and my year severance just ended, and I decided to move back into my house to save money while I’m searching for another job. I decided to move back in part due to the fact that my ex was planning on moving to West Virginia to be supportive of my daughter who just moved there to begin her new life. Well, that plan changed. So now I’m back living in the house with my ex wife. I pay for the mortgage as part of alimony, so she is entitled to live here, but now I have no social life to speak of. It basically feels like I’m back where I was 4+ years ago when I decided to leave and get a divorce - i.e., I’m living with a roommate who depends on me, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me intimately. Of course, to be fair, we are divorced, and at this point I don’t want anything to do with her intimately either; but it’s still a bit awkward, and clearly I can’t “live” my life for the time being. Hopefully I can find employment soon and move out again. There are worse things, but I’m very discouraged.

Bridget Young's avatar

"Not even a little bit." Like the Grey sweatpants and rice bag, I so relate.

Candy Downs's avatar

Haha phew!

Brandon Ellrich's avatar

I downloaded a new app, so I plan to douse my no-sex dry spell with a bucket of water... or something.

Candy Downs's avatar

Sending you all my best sexy swiping vibes!

Nadia's avatar

lmao this piece gave me good giggles

Candy Downs's avatar

Thanks, Nadia ❤️

Kev's avatar

It's the old joke: I never get much. I'm married.

RiseToFreeThinking.'s avatar

I have one question, why would an ex leave their things at their ex's house? You don't have to give YOUR reason, it just doesn't make sense to me.

Candy Downs's avatar

This is just one essay that’s part of a much bigger story. My situation is unusual and that’s what I love about it and writing about it. Lots of love ❤️

RiseToFreeThinking.'s avatar

All good, I may be able to think of reasonable reasons why, though I don't roll that way.

Steve van Leeuwen's avatar

I don't need to get laid, but sometimes I think I would like too... But I'm just not sure. Plus my wife wouldn't like that, I suppose. It's been almost six years.

🐺The Wise Wolf's avatar

you look too much like a southern belle to be from alaska

Candy Downs's avatar

A lot of people think I’m from the south 🥰 I’m a PNW girlie 🌲

🐺The Wise Wolf's avatar

you def look like a georgia peach

Candy Downs's avatar

I’ll take that 🍑

🐺The Wise Wolf's avatar

im resisting the urge to say how much i love the taste of a ripe peach right now

Some Things About Me's avatar

Yes, I don’t wanna do the math but I probably haven’t been laid more than I have over the last 10 years…actually I don’t even need to do the math. The ones that were there though they were magnificent. Oh how I miss them! Best of luck!

QuYahni B Joseph's avatar

Girl you got me contemplating some things that will probably be good for me and not so great for someone else lol (Lawd, help my menopause PLEASE!)

Candy Downs's avatar

Haha! Good! I only want you to do what’s good for you, gorgeous. 😘

Clive Nojive's avatar

I have trouble with a tit falling out as well, and I'm a man, although that's up for debate! 😅

Candy Downs's avatar

Happens to the best of us, Clive. 😂

Mahmoud Owies's avatar

Omg a post! A real post!!

Bryce Young's avatar

Great piece! 😊

Candy Downs's avatar

Thank you, Bryce ❤️